Every two years we hold national elections on the first Tuesday in November. I always wondered why that day was picked. In recent years, I thought that we should move election day to October 31 regardless of what day it falls on. Yes, we should hold our national elections on Halloween.
Let’s just think about this for a minute. What better day to hold an election? We are constantly shown our elected officials with their $300 haircuts, $1,000 suits, and $400 wing tip shoes. They carefully, or at least have an aide carefully put on their American Flag pin on the lapel. Before going on camera they probably visit the dentist for a cleaning so when they open their mouths their pearly whites gleam in the lights. Yes, the ladies have their costumes as well, but in honesty I don’t know what those costs are. This crosses party lines too. There have been many times I look at the TV and see these politicians and the first thought that comes to mind is a used car salesman. I know that is really cruel to used car salesmen.
So, they dress up in their costumes and pretend to really care about us. They want us to vote for them based on vague promises and even vaguer slogans. Problem is, they are usually funded by dark money where the donors are kept secret so we don’t know what the actual agenda is. But, if we listen very carefully to them, and not just the 20 second sound bites the media is famous for, we can hear the really scary things they are saying.
On election day, we go to the polls and cast our ballots. We vote for the candidate that we believe will actually represent the people and not special interest groups. Though deep inside we usually know better. Which means that every election day we are rolling the dice that the right people, those with a real intent to represent their constituents, will actually get elected.
But, keeping in line with Halloween, we don’t know if we are electing someone with integrity or if we are actually voting for the political version of a chain saw homicidal maniac. So, sometimes we look like those people in a TV ad that shows how people in horror movies make dumb decisions. Sometimes our choices become the one between getting in the running car and driving the hell out of there or hiding behind the chain saws.
The ultra-conservatives running in this years election make me feel like we may very well choose hiding behind the chain saws. They are trying to make this election something less than actually governing. They are trying to take the country back to 1890. That is why in the last few elections you have heard things like “Legitimate rape”, “I’m proud of my outsourcing”, “Men are more often the victims in rape cases”, “Birth control is really abortion”, Climate change is a hoax perpetrated by commie scientists”, and other such stupid things.
Conservatives claim to be for “protecting the ballot box” with their Voter ID laws, which are really voter suppression laws. But, they don’t seem to have the same fear for the “absentee ballot”. Where are the protections to ensure that the person actually sending in the ballot filled it out themselves and it wasn’t filled out for them? Or, maybe someone else entirely filled it out without the person knowing about it. There is a far better chance of Voter Fraud being committed using absentee ballots than in person voting. Heck, for all we know people like Governor Walker’s staff, who is in a very tight race and may lose, may be filling out a bunch of absentee ballots as we speak.
Every election cycle, the ultra-conservatives have something to bring up to really scare people. Their usual standard is the “open borders” that will allow terrorists to come and kill you in your sleep. This time around they now have Ebola. Which of course, terrorists will infect themselves with, cross the open border with Mexico just to spread the disease and wipe us all out.
See, these aren’t things that necessarily fall into the crazy category. They are things that fall into the scary Halloween theme. The object is to scare everyone to death and then hope they vote for you on election day. That is why I think we should move our election day to Halloween. Why waste such a good holiday just on children having fun? We can actually scare ourselves to death with our choices on who should run the country.
Of course, those Voter ID laws will not allow us to dress up before voting, and that would take a lot of the fun out of it.